I've been doing a bit of soul searching of late, philosophically minded you might say. Questioning my beliefs and what the hell my purpose in life is but that's just it… Why am I here?

I think in every gal's life she has her self -doubting phase and mine is making itself known right about now. I never gave the whole circle of life much though to be honest, far too wrapped up in my current drama of the week to even consider a higher being is at work, a guiding force in my fate if you will.

The thing is from the day we are born it is drummed into us to go to school and get good grades, find a good job, find a lover marry them and have many children but what happens when you've achieved all this? Having done my bit for procreation and having the lovely home and stable job so early on in life I am coming to the conclusion I am experiencing some sort of midlife crisis. A little melodramatic I hear you say, maybe but not unheard of. Gone are the days of listening to a Take That album and finding the answers to life's questions in there (I was 12 what can I say?)

Now I'm 25 I realise that maybe we don't have purpose and this is it, THIS IS IT. The thing is I've never really believed in god. In fact, I've spent a lot of time and energy trying to disprove that god exists but ironically I hope that my child is able to believe in god, because the thing that I've come to realize, is that it just doesn't matter if god exists or not. The important thing is for him to believe in something, because I truly believe that, that belief will keep him warm at night.